AUDACITY

I stepped back, took a breath, and reflected what was missing on me

One gloomy afternoon, my mom sat on my bed as I do some sort of reading and research online. She asked me what am I getting busy doing at and what are my so-called plans after college. Well, I stopped and think. At the back of my mind, there is really plainly nothing. My mom maybe would like to hear how my pending applications are going or share some of my career plans, but I just straightly spoke to her, that things are a bit shaky and cloudy for me right now and I don't have concrete plans yet. Maybe I need some break. For oftentimes, I woke up feeling confused with a sort of distressing emotion and i don't know why I feel that way.

I saw a curve in the face of my mom. Luckily, it's an upward stroke with a light on her eyes and surprisingly said, “You need a break? Go ahead. What else do you want?” I never expect to hear that from her. I just want to stay out from my lazy cozy cocoon for awhile (which I actually mean, my room or our house). I have plans of visiting our relatives from different places since I tend to refuse to spend a long time with them every summer due to academic duties.

So, fast forward, Mom grants me to do so, with permission of my dad and jealousy of my two brothers, two days after our conversation, I packed my things up and ready to breathe a different kind of air ;)

The Breath of Fresh Air

The fun part of this new journey was that, I was traveling alone; few of my relatives knew that I'll be visiting them soon but have no idea when; only my mom knows my whereabouts and nobody knows when I am planning to go back home(maybe for days, weeks or months). Yes, I am in complete control of my time, budget and where to stay.

I mean this as a breath of fresh air because things are way different. I am away from monotonous routine, away from polluted air, away from crowded and noisy places, seeing people from different places and I knew definitely knew that I will be engaging to nature-trees, plants, tourist spots, which I totally love. That lil nomad inside of me is excited and always looking forward to it.

I enjoy the feeling of getting lost or let's just say life with no exact direction. I think this is what my life probably is right now and I am towards searching the lost part of the soul.

About to Find the Missing Piece

Finding something that seems well too hidden may not exactly pop out from where you’re looking. So you probably, need more time to search and remember where you leave those meaningful pieces.

As I look out at the bus window, enjoying the green scenery, I took a little time to reflect. I decided that as I take this ride, I will disconnect from my ordinary habit. No social media, no gadgets, and other distractions. I was once told during our retreat, that one needs to disconnect something in order to reconnect to your own pace. This might be a good start to gain a new perspective and find what I have been looking for.

Piece into pieces

I actually had a mind map from where I am going. I have been through my relatives’ places before and I always have this “buddy” to guide and accompany and its different now. I’m really excited because I'm picturing out a big continent to be broken down into different trails and color-coded flags (presumably).

----I'll never experience this without the audacity to share my inhibitions with my mom and to have courage to travel on my own at my own pace. This might sound terrifying from a child who is raised to a protective family but this one a good brave step towards a long career journey ahead.

This is NES, clueless for the future but with a high hopes to experience great and be great.