*Insert Hanap- Hanap lyrics here
Ikaw pa rin pala ang hanap-hanap parap-pap
Na kahit magpanggap 'di matatago na ang 'yong yakap
Ang hanap-hanap parap-pap-pap
'Di nagbabago ikaw ang hanap hanap
'Di maglalaho
Ika'y aking pangarap
'Di nagbabago ikaw ang hanap-hanap ko

*Disclaimer: This is meant to be read by a fangirl as well lol

Everytime I hear this song, it makes me feel so kilig reminiscing the first time I saw James Reid and Nadine Lustre perform live and upclose during their last Jadine In Love Concert at Atrium, Limketkai Center.

The I know I'm creepy I just dont care vibe is so high the moment the concert began. People are getting crazy and screams are so loud you barely hear their voices sing. 

As they are one of the hottest teams in the Philippines today, James Reid and Nadine Lustre never fails to surprise their fans with the first Jadine in Love- CDO tour

We are very grateful for our boss' approval in sponsoring the dinner and snacks of the organizing team of JADINE. This is our "Golden Key" towards our VVIP access haha.  Together with my colleague, Jezyl who is definitely the #1 fan, we were with them from the exclusive media press conference down to their rehearsals and event proper.

It’s hard not to act as a fangirl so as to stay in composure if you see them preparing and rehearsing on stage before the large crowd comes. The management has a strict no-photo policy while the rehearsal is ongoing.

Sharing some snapshots during the concert:

Everything is beginning to feel surreal.




The sexy Yassi Pressman on her Super Bass performance




special guest Donnalyn Bartolome

What a night to remember and thus our best Christmas gift we have. So this is us before the concert began. You can't expect us in good disposition right after the concert lol.
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Update: I finally got a job! My #YOLO days are gone and now, I can finally admit to myself that I’m ready to face the conduits of life.

BUT... this blog post won’t talked about my first work experience rather I would like to share how I finally find the courage and regained my lost soul after being dominated with random unemployed thoughts couple of weeks ago. This would probably help those people who were once or still like me- a lost yet feeling amazing Gen Y batch 2015.

Last month, my parents supported me with my unquenched desire to travel and the exciting part here is that for the first time, I will travel alone! And I chose to visit those people I knew from different cities and other far-flung provinces.

This totally gives me more freedom to explore and do what I want. Below are some of the activities I’ve done:
  • Reunited with old friends
  • Talked to a stranger in the bus
  • Got my own daily routine exercise
  • Read more more more books
  • Ate good food from different restaurants
  • Spent more time with cousins and relatives.
  • Swim beaches, pools and springs
  • Attends local concert and live band
  • Watched classic movies 
  • Ride different means of transportation- Kalesa, jeepney, bike, van, bus, barge etc
These may seem so cliché and a normal routine but these are not predictable and comforting because I’ve been pondering from different places. I may suggest you do the same. Not necessarily to travel, but just simply do things that make you feel better and not sluggish. 

From my own trip, I was able to build and rekindled relationships; it added a level of clarity into some personal aspects; does remove burnout; and I finally bring the good back to life. We are too much focus or worried about the future that we neglect to love ourselves, appreciate the little things that surround us and forgot that by living presently is the only time we can control.

While you’re not yet obliged to work 8 hours a day, start doing things that you wanted to do because as a fresh graduate, the only important asset you have right now is TIME. You have no reason to worry because things just unfold in right manner especially when combined with hardwork and faith. Just as when I’m emotionally ready that I unexpectedly got hired by a certain company. See? We just have to let life play its course and just be. Seize the day! 

Living Presently

by on 12:32 PM
Update: I finally got a job! My #YOLO days are gone and now, I can finally admit to myself that I’m ready to face the conduits of life...
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A smile and tears from my parents face as they hear my name pronounced as I walked across the stage, reached for the diploma with my left hand and shook with University’s President with my right, walked off the stage and sat back down.

*Sigh* That moment just happened three weeks ago… yes, it’s been awhile. Not to mention, it’s been three weeks of being officially unemployed. I’ve been overwhelmed with so many thoughts, realizations, negativities, cravings, dreams, and plans with this kind of great transition in life. And the chain reaction after I allow myself to dash against it? I got sick.

One time, I wonder why I got sick that I no longer have so many things to do and to think about. Unlike in my college years, where I've always been this kind of girl whose plans are already laid out and being doodled in the planner. I guess my body is just not used to it- of not doing anything.

Or probably, I neglect to give a healthy dose of self-care. I must admit that my life right now probably strikes under wanton exhilaration, boredom, agonizing moments, self-actualization and some room of fun and laughter.

As I deliberate, maybe this was just all due to my actions and decision which leads me to stress and negative thinking. I allowed myself to be preoccupied with unproductive emotions and thoughts. That somehow, Newton’s third law could give that right justification- For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I ponder again as I read this powerful message from Alldevotions.com
Illness is often a sign that there are needs you are not taking care of. Sometimes your body gets sick so that you are forced to slow down and become aware of the messages of your heart and the desires of your spirit. Only when you step outside on the daily treadmill, can you attune to these more subtle inner callings. Don’t wait to get sick before listening to these important inner messages.
This holds so true. This stress that I’m experiencing right now just creates barriers on what I should be doing; a detrimental to my physical, mental and emotional health.

I’m thinking too much about the future that I miss out the great moments that unveiling right before use. I became too anxious that I forget to forgive and love myself. And that is probably what I missed out.

And so right now, I need to invigorate my life, set strategies that will enable to focus; to regain my lost soul and energy to its normal bound; And to cast all burdens and worries to the Lord. But how do I start? if I figured it how it would definitely be on my next blog post.
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I stepped back, took a breath, and reflected what was missing on me

One gloomy afternoon, my mom sat on my bed as I do some sort of reading and research online. She asked me what am I getting busy doing at and what are my so-called plans after college. Well, I stopped and think. At the back of my mind, there is really plainly nothing. My mom maybe would like to hear how my pending applications are going or share some of my career plans, but I just straightly spoke to her, that things are a bit shaky and cloudy for me right now and I don't have concrete plans yet. Maybe I need some break. For oftentimes, I woke up feeling confused with a sort of distressing emotion and i don't know why I feel that way.

I saw a curve in the face of my mom. Luckily, it's an upward stroke with a light on her eyes and surprisingly said, “You need a break? Go ahead. What else do you want?” I never expect to hear that from her. I just want to stay out from my lazy cozy cocoon for awhile (which I actually mean, my room or our house). I have plans of visiting our relatives from different places since I tend to refuse to spend a long time with them every summer due to academic duties.

So, fast forward, Mom grants me to do so, with permission of my dad and jealousy of my two brothers, two days after our conversation, I packed my things up and ready to breathe a different kind of air ;)

The Breath of Fresh Air

The fun part of this new journey was that, I was traveling alone; few of my relatives knew that I'll be visiting them soon but have no idea when; only my mom knows my whereabouts and nobody knows when I am planning to go back home(maybe for days, weeks or months). Yes, I am in complete control of my time, budget and where to stay.

I mean this as a breath of fresh air because things are way different. I am away from monotonous routine, away from polluted air, away from crowded and noisy places, seeing people from different places and I knew definitely knew that I will be engaging to nature-trees, plants, tourist spots, which I totally love. That lil nomad inside of me is excited and always looking forward to it.

I enjoy the feeling of getting lost or let's just say life with no exact direction. I think this is what my life probably is right now and I am towards searching the lost part of the soul.

About to Find the Missing Piece

Finding something that seems well too hidden may not exactly pop out from where you’re looking. So you probably, need more time to search and remember where you leave those meaningful pieces.

As I look out at the bus window, enjoying the green scenery, I took a little time to reflect. I decided that as I take this ride, I will disconnect from my ordinary habit. No social media, no gadgets, and other distractions. I was once told during our retreat, that one needs to disconnect something in order to reconnect to your own pace. This might be a good start to gain a new perspective and find what I have been looking for.

Piece into pieces

I actually had a mind map from where I am going. I have been through my relatives’ places before and I always have this “buddy” to guide and accompany and its different now. I’m really excited because I'm picturing out a big continent to be broken down into different trails and color-coded flags (presumably).

----I'll never experience this without the audacity to share my inhibitions with my mom and to have courage to travel on my own at my own pace. This might sound terrifying from a child who is raised to a protective family but this one a good brave step towards a long career journey ahead.

This is NES, clueless for the future but with a high hopes to experience great and be great.  

AUDACITY

by on 12:03 PM
I stepped back, took a breath, and reflected what was missing on me One gloomy afternoon, my mom sat on my bed as I do some sort of r...
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I just bid farewell to the structured life I used to.
     The moment I moved my tassel to the right side of my cap, an excitement-anxiety creeps in through my veins enabling my heart to beat faster. Like is this for real? Am I ready to jump into the corporate world?
     I'm overwhelmed with sporadic thoughts and uncertainties of what lies ahead. It is so nerve wrecking for we used to follow this kind of educational ladder (grade school-high school- college) but now that I've finally reached with this last step, I felt like I’m on the edge of the cliff and has no clue where to land and the reality just slowly sinks in that I may not be ready as I thought I'd be.
      Though I have plans for graduate school or take some educational courses to enable me to teach in the mere future these are not on the top my list as of the moment for I need to find opportunities for career development and growth. So what now after college?
     Mind you all that this post doesn’t merely apply to all fresh grads. Either way, we are driven by different goals and priorities in life and so continue to carve the way you wanted it to be. I, on the other hand, just find it confusing which road to take in after.
    Anyway, going back, I find lucky for my friends who just got hired, those who already established their own business, managing their family business or even work for the company that they really want; those who are pursuing their passion; planning to take graduate or law school. While here I am, for some way around, introspecting between doing the things I wished I could have done before or conformed what society thinks for fresh graduate-to instantly find have job.
    My mind and physical body began to follow and slowly adapting the realms of this so-called real life and I’ve been through creating cover letter and resumes, attending seminars on how to prepare for an interview, partake into job fairs, got interviewed by some companies, spending countless time checking phone or email for follow up yet end up fretting and clueless for why things didn't go along the way.
     While I was on the midst of outlining my resume, again and again, pondering from another company to the next, I didn't know why but there seems to be a gravitational pull inside of me that seems to hinder me from doing as such.
    Then lots of questions appear, Am I really emotionally, physically and intellectually ready to face the conduits of life? Am I certain on what field of business or marketing should I partake or what company to work, contribute and grow for? Am I motivated by my willpower to work for my own benefit, for my family, being motivated by money or due to the pressure of the society? If I got hired, would I be that productive despite those hundredths random thoughts running through my head, setting forth for the things I supposed to do now that I’m free from academic responsibilities in college. Should I really need to rush things up?
    To be honest, I find it difficult to answer each and every question I made.
   Well, what if I’ll follow my instincts? To close the tabs of those job hunting sites in the meantime and finally unravel the things I wanted to do. Though I got a bit of fear for maybe this is just another piece of my lazy thinking yet I believe this is a good way and time to start loving and finding time for myself. This will be for the first time in my life not having any academic duties so I should appreciate and live for the moment.
    I’m within the possibilities of being swallowed by this dark shadow letting me just stay in my comfort zone or stand with this notion that this will not be forever, that there will come a day that I’ll jump over that cliff (the one I mentioned above) with less fear of unknown plus a courage to finally set and have clear vision on what to achieve in life. I’m not thinking of some magical happenings at the end of the rainbow, I’ll just have to prove that everything will be worthwhile.
    So yes, Carpe Diem. YOLO. Me-time as I would say. Now I’m on an adventure of getting new perspective and journey in life. I set no exact date, place or time as to when to stop searching for this lost star. I'm not sure what failure will mean for me (ain't aiming for that tho) thus, the succeeding posts and such realizations at the end are something to look forward to.
   At the end, is it a time well spent? Or a time wasted? With dreams, perseverance, and hope for a good future and for myself, I’ll lift everything to God. Let it go, let it be.
   Now, I long to live a more exciting life.

Post Graduation Blues

by on 7:45 AM
I just bid farewell to the structured life I used to.       The moment I moved my tassel to the right side of my cap, an excitement-...
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Almighty and Loving God, having been through with our college years, with its trials and difficulties, we come to you today with grateful hearts. We thank you for your loving presence in all our struggles, temptations, pains and frustration. We believe you have been with us to give us strength and courage to go on and move forward to achieve our goal. 

Thank you Lord for all the graces you have bestowed upon us, through the people who have helped us in fulfilling our dreams. We thank you for the people who have helped us along the way especially those who have enlighten us in moments of darkness and confusion. Thank you Lord for our parents and relatives who were always there to love and support us in all our needs; for our friends who inspired us, our teachers who have guided us and taught us to be more loving and responsive to the needs of others and to integrate what we have learned in our four corners of our classrooms in our day to day living. 

As we face another stage in life, may you continue to journey with us. With great hope and faith, give us the courage to face the new challenges. We understand this is not yet the end but the beginning of a new journey. May our hopes and dreams come true as we strive to be responsible citizen and men and women of goodwill. May our life be a living witness of your love, peace and justice amidst the challenges and struggles in our world today. 

Compassionate God, we are deeply grateful of your love for us despite our weaknesses and limitations. This day is great day for us as we come together in thanksgiving for all your goodness. Help us to be always aware of your presence in our life, in others and in all your creations. Make us always grateful for every blessing you will shower upon us. All these we pray and thank you loving Father, through Jesus Christ our brother, with the Holy spirit, now and forever.  Amen
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It's  been four years since I last read this thanksgiving prayer during our baccalaureate in high school for the batch 2010-2011 yet it still resonates how I feel, pray and hope now I just graduated from college.
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"The smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of my life"
This is about my extracurricular journey.

My Extracurricular Journey

by on 10:06 AM
"The smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of my life" This is about my extracurricular journe...
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Hello dear, 

How's everything? Have you tick any one from your checklist? Have you talked to your team already? I guess you're almost there towards a successful event but one thing is missing- you forgot to put a curve in your face. And to put that on and add some spark in your heart, I'd like to share with you the wisdom I recently gained. 

First and foremost, you've got to care of your people-your working team. They will be with you from the start until the end. Lead them to the goals you want them to take while motivating and appreciating their works at the same time. Keep in mind that they are the mover and shaker of your event.

Second, proper organization starts with you- by believing in yourself that you can. After having intensive planning for the event, you will start to be overwhelmed by your duties and responsibilities. Don't drop like a hot potato, stand still, keep moving and believe everything will just fall into place. 

Lastly, if you feel like you’re toppled down by predicaments while on the midst of preparation, stay calm, take a deep breath and handle it with a low key. Even though you believe you have covered up the necessary spaces to fill in and thought of the possible problems that will soon arise, there are really some things you can’t control and is inevitable. You’ll get over this. You’ve been preparing this for so long, everything will just be fine. 

Trust the process girl. Trust me, I've been there. alot.

Dear Ms. Project Head

by on 8:17 AM
No matter how good you are at planning, the pressure never goes away. So I don't fight it. I feed off it. I turn pressure into mot...
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Personal message…

Aloha! Welcome! Ohziness blog aims not to change the world and make it a better place for you and for me. It is a look into my life-my personal blog as I say. Since various memes are running through my head and just suddenly pops out from nothing, I decided to find a better channel where to put it and… Viola! A baby blog was created...

I basically see satisfaction in writing and whenever I put my thoughts to words.  I hold responsible for any misused words, incorrect grammar, spelling error and the like as I’m not perfect, a trained writer, an English major nor good in any literary works. So please bear with me. I accept constructive criticism and comments as well as I always see this as a chance to improve and grow.

Personal Message

by on 10:07 AM
Personal message… Aloha! Welcome! Ohziness blog aims not to change the world and make it a better place for you and for me. It is a l...
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